Oh boy, here we go again... Now that the winter of 2021 is melting away to spring, I think it's time to give an update on what inspires me, what I'm doing, and where I'm going. What I've Been Doing, PersonallyIf you've been following my blog, you know that I've been going through a creative and mental funk. I didn't know where I was going, what I was doing, and my mental health was quickly spiraling. I was overwhelmed from the back-to-back classes, the seemingly never ending laundry list of schoolwork, and the strain I put my body through at work. I was on the cusp of breaking and bursting completely. But with some good advice from my therapist and a well-earned weekend of playing just straight video games, I'm back on my feet again. I've cut my hours at work to a reasonable pace, and have started dialing back on the urgency for schoolwork. Yes, it's nice to be ahead on work by 2-3 days, but is it necessary? Is it kind to me? That last question is really, really important I think. The game development industry is a place where workers are notoriously overworked, underpaid, and under-supported. I want to support myself so when the time comes and I work there, I don't crawl home half-dead and unable to live properly. Enjoy new sights, have time for personal hobbies, maybe even a family (of pets) if that's in the cards for me. The game dev industry needs to change for their workers, and that change will only happen if young, inexperienced workers bringing in talent learn how to fend for themselves. That means self-care, rest, and meditation, as cheesy as that sounds. Hopefully when I enter the workforce, the work environment will be better. What I Am Doing Right NowRight now, I am getting through each and every day, one step at a time. Doing homework that is due tomorrow, and no more. Going to work when absolutely necessary, taking up no extra shifts. Attending classes when needed. I used to think that I absolutely HAD to get ahead, in order to succeed I had to be fifty steps of everyone else. But I was burning out, every muscle in my body aching and threatening to tear, and I was on the verge of the breakdown. I work hard, but if I'm doing a hundred things at once (and maybe a third can be done later) how can I achieve the quality of work I desire? So I'm going for the minimum. But my best minimum effort. For the creative sides, I'm still in a terrible art block. I'm nourishing myself by consuming media that is tailored to my tastes. Long gone are the days of Percy Jackson, Harry Potter and Pokemon-- basically any kids/young teen fiction-- and here come The Witcher, Dragon Age, and Baldur's Gate series, the dark, mature fantasy series I didn't know I was craving until I read it. I'm still not touching Game of Thrones with a 20-foot pole though. No thanks. What I Will Be DoingI still want to be an artist, oh so desperately. But my style needs to change. It's not something I'm very satisfied with-- it's not a true reflection of my personality and what I like. While it's a very cutesy, bright, approachable style, I'd like it to take a darker, realistic twist in composition. And become more interesting to view, intriguing even.
I would like to combine classical Baroque-esque painting techniques but add a fantasy twist. Paint a classical portrait of a tiefling, or a romantic bout of an elf and her lover. Maybe a glorious view of an adventuring party, framed and all. So I'll be focusing on improving my art and my techniques when the time comes, drifting towards traditional works before applying my knowledge to digital art. I will be bettering myself as an artist, basically; I dream of going to these great art schools, mainly MICA and the Art Academy of Cincinnati. I want to meet art lovers like me and draw. The strange thing is, I don't love drawing, honestly, but it's the only thing I could tolerate doing for the next few years or so. My goal is to become a successful creative, and live for myself. Let's hope it comes true.
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AuthorHey, Jay Phung here. This is my blog where I reflect on various assignments from Game Design! Please enjoy your stay (´・ω・`). Archives
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